Curse

StandardAI · Mar 29, 2005, 05:17 AM // 05:17

Well there's this girl... Who I've had a crush on for a couple of months now you see. She doesn't even really know I exist, I see her nearly every day and she has a really great personality, But other than that I don't know too much about her... I really want to ask her out but it just doesn't seem like it's in the realm of reality for me to date her.

Jeanette · Mar 29, 2005, 11:34 AM // 11:34

I wouldn't suggest asking her to be your girlfriend when you've never hung out at all(If thats what you meant)...It will probably sound a bit weird, but hanging out with her shouldn't be to hard, just invite her to go with you somewhere one day, get to know her a bit more, if you still like her, talk to her more often, hang out a bit, and then ask her, don't jump into somethin you don't know is even worth it for you or her yet. Nothing good could come from that.

Arcala · Mar 29, 2005, 01:34 PM // 13:34

Phew, this means I'm off the hook, then. ;o

-Arc

Virtuoso · Mar 29, 2005, 02:02 PM // 14:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by StandardAI

Well there's this girl... Who I've had a crush on for a couple of months now you see. She doesn't even really know I exist, I see her nearly every day and she has a really great personality, But other than that I don't know too much about her... I really want to ask her out but it just doesn't seem like it's in the realm of reality for me to date her.

Just do it. You don't need any more advice but that. However you feel like doing things is your business, and you will learn from it. But, you cannot live life thinking the way you're thinking now. You are good enough for her, and she will know you exsist as soon as you make her know you exsist. There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of her. Just ask her to hang out and have a good time. You'll live, you'll love, and you'll learn.

-Virt

Inde · Mar 29, 2005, 02:57 PM // 14:57

Confidence. Its all you need [a disarming smile works too ... and contrary to Spooky's stories, kitty ears do not work]

Spooky · Mar 29, 2005, 03:53 PM // 15:53

Blasphemous lies! Kitty ears are the answer to all of life's problems, the question only truly lies in how one is to use them.

Anyway, as someone who has been in a position to work with communities for many years, I think I can safely say that approaching people is a simple task, it is only in dealing with our own natural hesitance and self doubt that makes it difficult. People often set themselves up for failure before they even try, and once that happens, the rest becomes increasingly more difficult, if not impossible. The trick, then, comes from not caring - so to speak. When someone is comfortable with who they are, and the things they want, then they don't need to be afraid of rejection, because there will be someone who accepts that. When people worry too much about other people .. what do I do, how do I make them like me? Etc, then it forces them to act out of their element, often in ways that they may have misconstrued as a desired behavior. Nothing good ever comes of that.

I would agree with the sentiments of introducing one's self in such a manner that is conducive to 'hanging out' (as the hip kids nowadays call it) and getting a better idea of, not only what this person is really like, but what it's like being with them. Sometimes conversation just flows naturally between people .. sometimes with others, it is stilted and forced .. 'hitting it off' is a good sign of future, further compatability. How's that for a redundant sentence?

Anyway, use your judgement and follow through on a manner that feels natural. It's better to take a chance then to go on never knowing, because regret is very much like a scar .. once you've got one, you've got it for life.

JjK · Mar 29, 2005, 04:00 PM // 16:00

I would say, if you are younger than 17; You are not ready.

Virtuoso · Mar 29, 2005, 04:11 PM // 16:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by JjK

I would say, if you are younger than 17; You are not ready.

Not ready for what? To hang out with a girl? To have a girlfiend? To have sex? To fall in love? I disagree. I think the high school age is perfect for exploring relationships. I just had a nasty breakup with my highschool girlfriend of 2 years and I wouldn't have given it up for a thing. Enjoy life while you still have no responsibilty.

-Virt

JjK · Mar 29, 2005, 04:13 PM // 16:13

No responsibility

Agreed ^.^

But we can't change each others opinion

Aladdar · Mar 29, 2005, 04:52 PM // 16:52

I wasted all my high school years of dating because I never asked anybody. I sat around like you wondering.

Finally towards the end of college I finally realized that all it takes is asking. About 70% of the time I wound up with a date. And if they say no, they say no. At least you know.

I'm now engaged to a wonderful woman, but it would never have happened if I hadn't learned to ask.

I'm not sure how old you are, but just go up to her one day and say "Hey, I'm wondering if I can take you out to dinner one night."

Don't be looking for anything serious, but just go out. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. It's really not any more complicated than that.

Losandros · Mar 29, 2005, 05:59 PM // 17:59

Confidence is all it takes. If she can see your confident, then she'll realize the confidence must be for SOMETHING, so in her eyes she'll see you have something going for you, but if you stammer and look nervous forget it. Trust me.

StandardAI · Mar 29, 2005, 06:37 PM // 18:37

Everyone, Thanks for your advice, Over the next couple of days I'll be thinking about these posts and eventually work up the courage to ask her out. I havn't seen her online yet today... So I'll keep looking

Darc.Syde · Mar 29, 2005, 07:11 PM // 19:11

i wouldnt ask out someone i barely knew. i would first be their friend, then drop some hints that you like her, it should seem funny after being friends for a while. then maybe later tell her you had a crush on her, then everything should fall into place. she either wont go out with you becuase she likes you just as a friend or she will. if she doesnt want to be your friend, she probobly wouldnt have gone out with you in the first place.

Aria · Mar 29, 2005, 07:21 PM // 19:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darc.Syde

i wouldnt ask out someone i barely knew. i would first be their friend, then drop some hints that you like her, it should seem funny after being friends for a while. then maybe later tell her you had a crush on her, then everything should fall into place. she either wont go out with you becuase she likes you just as a friend or she will. if she doesnt want to be your friend, she probobly wouldnt have gone out with you in the first place.

Exactly. I would suggest moving up to it gradually, over time. But definitely start saying hi to her.. make some contact

If you want a real life example, my roommate has more friends than -anyone- I've ever ever met. We both get along with strangers perfectly well (mostly since we babble happily on and on).. but she takes far more risks than I do. As Spooky says.. it's a bit counter-intuitive. You have to not care.. not care that you can fall, you can fail, etc. It's just one more drop in the sea of life.. if it works, then it's a precious, precious drop, but if it doesn't, there's still an entire ocean out there. My roommate has more friends than everyone I know, combined.. and that's along the lines of several hundred. But she also has the most rejections of everyone.. You just never really see that aspect, because she picks herself up, shakes it off, and goes back to smiling and just moves on.

In terms of social spheres, just don't be afraid of failure.

That's the worst thing that can happen, and well, it's not -that- bad compared to what you lose by not daring to do anything at all.

lllCo2lll · Mar 29, 2005, 07:36 PM // 19:36

First off, not trying to ruin the mood, but before you even think of just having a crush. Really take a good look at that person, and wonder to yourself "Is she the type thats able to keep an oath with you, keep promises, won't hide anything from you."

For me its better off to leave dreams as dreams, fantasies as fantasy, and reality as reality. If she is the type of girl that you would really like and everything, but if you know there is some qualities that may not be right for you (for instance insecurity) Then well its best to leave it at a crush.

Most would say give it a try and if you fail, get hurt, heartbroken just stand right back up and learn from it. That is only if you want a harsh learning method. Just think it through before you enter any relationship.

As always I keep my promises and oaths that matter even though no one does the same for me, and I literally mean no one. I'm not sad to be alone for the rest of my life because of this oath either. Its just so damn frustrating... why can't I be treated the same way I treat others.

Bleh... I seriously don't know why I'm bambaling on, but just be careful. Some girls don't know how to keep promises or not hide things.

Just remember to take responsibility for your actions, never assume just because you're young you don't have any. Every action comes with a consequence. Never lie, keep things hidden, break promises, and break oaths without understanding the consequences.

I'm tired...

sino-soviet · Apr 08, 2005, 06:45 AM // 06:45

erm odd place to ask for advice, but just take it easy.

Manderlock · Apr 08, 2005, 07:04 AM // 07:04

bah, what you do go up and throw her a chessy pick up line, this will make both of you laugh and break the tension. then you talk for a while get to know her and see if you truely think it will work. if so go for it man and dont look back.

BIG NOTE: the pick up line is the key if you dont show your confident then she will blow you off. dont think of her as a goddess just another person, then just go with the flow.

static deathbringer · Apr 08, 2005, 09:03 AM // 09:03

step 1. ask her if she likes bread.
step 2. hit her with a french loaf
step 3. run away...saying i love you

for those of who do not get this i suggest you find the religon that is Eddie Izzard

RustySword314 · Apr 08, 2005, 08:40 PM // 20:40

Personally I wouldn't ask for dating advice on a gaming board. Secondly, be confident.

Elonis · Apr 09, 2005, 10:27 AM // 10:27

yeah yeah like they said friends then ask would be best bet but if she says no just blame it on spooky to make yourself feel better

ah im just messin no need to blame it on spooky we all love the moderators